Royal Academy art attack

• 2011-07-27

  Week 8. Manly bird on a bicycle.

  ‘Manly bird on a bicycle’ is inspired by the artist’s time at William Parker School in Hastings.
  
  As an all boys school, it was common place to innocently leave your seat for a moment to come back and find you’d been ‘tippened’ (when all the contents of your bag are thrown across the class - sandwiches and all) a huge phallus now adorned the front page of your text book.
  
  Changing the purple headed womb ferret on your page into a lady bird on a bicycle was a common method developed by the artist and @dandoanddodd to avoid getting into trouble with the teachers.
  
  One could suppose then that this piece represents the artist’s yearning for a return to childhood. Well, one would be wrong.
  
  Actually, it is a commentary piece about the artist’s growth into manhood. We know this because the Lady Bird has a moustache; a symbolic addition to show growth and maturity.
  
  The moustache is a subtle yet unmissable feature of the protagonist.
  
  Similarly, when one looks inside one’s self, maturity is an aspect which has been growing quietly over time.
  
  It is there. We just have to notice it.

   

• 2011-07-21

  Week 7. Mouthwash.

  Mouthwash is a commentary on the recent News Corp scandal which has engulfed and enraged the country.
  
  The giant mouthwash bottle represents the scale of the problem with the ladder noticeably too short to open the lid and release the cleansing liquid inside to solve all that is wrong. It’s also a metaphor for the problem that we face here -we can’t sling Murdoch in prison because he’s an Australian. 
  
  Interestingly, the artist has chosen to ignore the media attacks on Rebekah Brooks. He’s not included her hair or mentioned anything about Mick Hucknall or Sideshow Bob. Is this omission a more powerful statement than the piece itself?
  
  Probably. 

  

• 2011-07-06

  Week 5. Last Supper.

  The artist’s latest masterpiece ‘Last Supper’ is a representation of his struggle to come to terms with his lack of relationship with religion.
  
  Being an ardent atheist, the artist has often questioned what people gain from believing in “God”. Is it the comfort? Is it the need to believe that we are serving a purpose? Is it that people genuinely believe they’ve been touched by god? Or is it that, like the church itself, bad people find it easier to be bad if they ‘believe’ in something?
  
  Seeing as the artist’s only experience of Godly comfort is that feeling of slipping into freshly ironed sheets and the only time he’s been touched by God was when he was accosted by a man in Hastings’ city centre, he created ‘Last Supper’.
  
  As you can see, the focus of the character within the picture is on the cheese in his hands. With quivering lips he maintains a steady, if somewhat frightened expression that shows the viewer the significance of the dairy delight. He is clearly besotted with the cheese in much the same way that people become besotted with religion. 

  The artist is challenging us - in a world obsessed with science and technology, how have we put up with the church doing what it does and getting away with it? How can we sit back in the midst of an economic depression whilst billions of pounds are squandered in the upkeep of an anachronism that you can’t even see?

  As Sir John Hegarty said, “the church is the biggest brand in the world” and in the artist’s humble opinion, believers are merely consumers.

  

• 2011-06-30

  Week 4. Runaway.

  Runaway is the story of a girl who leaves her life in Paris and returns home to England.

  The girl is pictured in a hot air balloon, floating over the channel amongst the clouds and birds with a smile used to indicate her realization that she is making the correct decision in changing her life.
  
  If you look closely at the two countries you will notice that France keeps it’s true name whilst England is written as ‘home’, further indicating that the girl, whoever she may be, feels right in leaving France.
  
  The tiny boat close to the French mainland indicates that although her body and soul have left France, she will never completely leave and always leave a piece of herself over the channel.

  This is perhaps the artist’s attempt at conveying his admiration for those that at least attempt to live by their hearts instead of their heads.

  

• 2011-06-28

  Week 4. The trolley.

  ‘The trolley’ focuses on conspicuous consumption, particularly as a means of enticing the opposite sex.
  
  The vast majority of us are guilty of buying to impress others. We buy designer labels as a way of creating a false identity and forging relationships built on image and a shared adulation for the fake.
  
  The piece was inspired by the artist’s recent experience of Geordie Shore - a documentary centered around the lives of  some idiots in the North West of England. This odd species lives seem dedicated to fake tans, fake nails, fake hair, fake faces, fake bodies and fake personalities, all with the aim of attracting a mate.
  
  This is represented by the artists’ use of a trolley within the picture; a blatant symbol of conspicuous consumption. Together with the beaver within the figure’s hand (a traditional representation of sex), this suggests that the man is shopping for sex itself. Why does the trolley only have two wheels? To show the emptiness of such an existence.
  
  This powerful work of art is made all the more explicit with the use of a paper airplane in the corner of the picture to represent life. Its loopy trail adds further weight to the artist’s point that such an existence leads one on an uncertain path with no guarantee of a happy landing.

  

• 2011-06-23

  Week 3. Another reply.

  Sorry that I’ve been a bit quiet on the art front, job hunting is taking it’s toll on my time. However, my talent is gaining momentum and the president’s office sent me another email which leads me nicely onto this post…

  
  
  For those of you with poorer eyesight:
  
  “Dear Jason, Many thanks for your further letter. Has the artist ever considered a literary career?
  
  The President’s Office”
  
  Well as it happens he is looking for his second junior creative copywriter position and would appreciate it if any advertising people that read this would meet him for a crit and a chat.
  
  Email him: j_bscott@hotmail.co.uk
  
  He’s grateful.
  
   

• 2011-06-20

  Week 3. Invasion.

  ‘Invasion’ tackles our innate obsession with the unknown and our quest for a greater being.
  
  The world’s most intelligent people have questioned our purpose and our existence for millennia, looking both in the past through religion and the future with science to discover an answer to man’s greatest questions; why are we here and are we alone?

  Based on H.G Wells’ ‘The war of the worlds’, the artist contemplates the moment of discovery of other worldly beings, beautifully throwing his own hypothetical hat into the ring and suggesting that discovery may not be as good for us as the films have often suggested.
  
  The tear across London’s skyline is symbolic of the split within society on the topics of science religion; the white sky a metaphorical representation of man’s innocence in the grander scheme of things.
  
  He seems to be gently saying ‘are we so naive as to think that by looking to the sky for answers, whether for a  God or for another species, that we will solve our problems here on earth?’.

  

  
  
  
   

• 2011-06-17

  Week 2. Child.

  ‘Child’ is an emotional portrayal of the artist’s fear of dentists and captures the intimate moment of the examination when the patient is completely at the mercy of the dentist’s expertise.

  In this, his first self portrait, the artist fully exposes himself to his audience by symbolically including a balloon in his hand as a symbol of his childlike fear. Unusually colourless, the balloon floats in the middle of the picture and almost becomes representative of the artist’s younger self watching the pain that he endures.
  
  The dentist’s gaping mouth signifies that he is shocked at what he sees and expects the surgery to be extensive. Alternatively, perhaps he is surprised at the pristine specimens that have been revealed to him?

  The true answer will remain a mystery to all but the artist himself.

  

• 2011-06-15

  The reply.

  The Royal Academy emailed me after I sent them ‘Rejection’. Below is their email and my reply. The picture that I attached was today’s work ‘Gimpflakes’.
  
  
  
  

   

• →

  Week 2. Gimpflakes.

  Gimpflakes is an homage to our hidden animalistic desires and was inspired whilst the artist was visiting Soho, central London.

  We can see the way in which the artist viewed the area around him; the excitement, the colour and the debauchery. The top hat on the head of the dominant male is reminiscent of a circus master - an indication that the artist sees Soho itself as a kind of show where entertainment and selfish fulfillment rules all.
  
  You may have also noticed the subtly placed box of cornflakes in the bottom left hand corner of the canvas. The cornflakes provide somewhat of a balance to the drama on the right, further indicating the normality of what occurs in this part of London. He is challenging us with his work; what would happen if Soho was placed in the centre of Hull, Grimsby or Portsmouth? How would such goings on be received?
  
  He is questioning each and every one of us - why do we let society restrain us? Why be held back from that which we seek? Why are we subservient to rules and norms and conventions?

  Why are we the gimps?

  

• 2011-06-13

  Week 2. Fruit of the loins.

  Fruit of the loins is an experimental piece in which I use the medium of sculpture to highlight the fragility of man’s existence.

  We are all created from the fruit of our parent’s loins and we are the result of generations and generations of chance. What if my mother had never met my father? What if my grandfather had never met my grandmother? What if my great-grandfather had not had such low standards after a couple of drinks?

  This delicate chain of ‘what if’ stretches back for centuries; all leading to myself and my own individual identity.

  Creating the life-giving penis from food is symbolic of our reliance on nature and our futile attempts at mastering it with science. Although we can grow food and even humans, we live in fear of nature and its predatory ability to steal life as it sees fit - even the strong and healthy are not above being reclaimed by this most mysterious of phenomena.

  And finally, you may have noticed that the penis appears circumcised. I did that because according to Cosmopolitan magazine, the chicks dig it.

  (Materials - Kiwis form the testicles, a banana forms the shaft and a tomato is used for the helmet).

  

  

• 2011-06-10

  Week 1. The journey.

  The journey is inspired by our search for ourselves; we all strive to find out who we are, what we believe and the paths we should take, without first exploring where we’ve come from. This is indicated by the pose of the individual within the piece; he’s looking onwards, away from the light and away from what he knows. He’s looking into the abyss and we can see from the way his mouth trembles that he’s apprehensive about the future - could it be that he’s scared of growing older?

  You may also have noticed that he carries a briefcase without any indication of what’s inside. Is it memories that he carries? Is it emotion? Is he hiding something?

  His space-like helmet could refer to the fact that he is nobly venturing into the unknown or that he’s searching for adventure - bored of the mundane continuum of urban living. Maybe he’s sheltering himself from society?

  Or perhaps he just likes helmets.

  

• 2011-06-07

  Week 1. Rejection.

  My first piece is called ‘Rejection’ and it focuses upon the trials and tribulations of love -the pain, the suffering, the ups and the downs. 

  I chose to keep it simple and minimalist in an attempt to free some of the complications and heartache in my own life, not easy to achieve in a world of clutter and constant contact with others.

  Rejection explores the way that social networking forces you to stay in touch with people, even when you don’t want to. We see this in the way that distance is central to the picture, so quiet and yet so loud.
  
  It is also much better than anything that Tracey Emin has done.